Setting boundaries: 7 key steps towards balancing work, life & play

Setting boundaries means being honest about what you can and cannot handle right now…and often that is a daunting admission…an admission that we are indeed human, have our limitations and need to be constantly balancing and rebalancing work, life and play. Perhaps if we all learned how to set and respect boundaries, we could foster more mutual respect and compassion amongst each other, rather than resentment or anger. And we might just add another small but important facet towards improving the overall mental health of the veterinary profession. Here are some key steps towards setting mutually beneficial boundaries…

It starts with a definition

When taking a fresh approach to something it’s often best to start with a clear definition of the element in question. Usually, a dictionary removes all the fluff and sticks to the facts. And so if we’re going to start reassessing our own boundaries, and others, we need a clear definition.

Boundary: a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.

That seems like a pretty good start. Now, how do we start to apply this in practical, tactical situations?

A daily self-check

We are all creatures of habit. Some more than others. Change isn’t easy. It takes 30 days to establish a new habitual change that will stick and just 3 days to undo it.

So, you need to define your boundaries. These will vary greatly but for most of us, this list will be a good start:

Define the number of hours you are comfortable working in a normal day
Define the number of minutes you want to have as clear breaks in your day
Keep a track of how many times you say no in your day
Do not take real “Work” work home

Now, go to your smartphone. Open the notes app and write your list of boundaries. Open the alarm app and set an alarm for 15 minutes before you normally start work each day. Call the alarm “Boundaries”. Each time the alarm sounds, go to the notes app and read your boundaries, aloud if you can. This is how you create or change your boundary habit.

You need to have a conversation about hours

One of the biggest pressures we all face is around the number of hours we work. Not only what is expected, but also what we often self-impose. Working long days and extra unpaid hours is often seen as a right of passage or a badge of honour, especially in the medical space, be it human or animal. Stop that. It is not a badge of honour, it is a slippery slope towards the challenges our industry faces in terms of mental health and retention of veterinary professionals within the industry. Talk to your manager, and your fellow team members, about what is a reasonable number of hours for you to work in a day or week, and then agree on a mechanism that will allow things to be addressed when exceeding your boundary hours becomes the norm instead of the exception.

And if you are starting a new job, this is an ideal opportunity to set your boundaries in relation to working hours. Once you have a signed employment agreement, you need to have a reaffirmation of what you probably only touched on during the recruitment process. A simple, clear conversation that revisits the work-life balance that you more than likely mutually discussed and that defines starting times, ending times, what constitutes overtime and how much overtime is reasonable for all parties and how formal breaks are structured and managed.

Give me a break

Relentless, constant pressure creates stress. Stress is bad. Formally defined breaks create discontinuity in that constant pressure that allows us all to regroup, gather our thoughts, take a deep breath and recharge.

The keys to successfully creating boundaries around breaks include:

Agree on break times with your peers and managers and help each other to stick to the break time you’ve agreed.
Set an alarm on your phone to prompt you that it is time for your break
Plan to do something in your break that you enjoy
Find a place to take your break that is away from the day-to-day hubbub, or go for a walk

Real work stays at work

Reading, online research, listening to a podcast. All reasonable “at home” extension of work that can be both useful as well as interesting. But doing “Work” with a capital W at home is simply a recipe for disaster. It’s such a big boundary breach and yet so many of us are drawn into it. And the recent trends towards working remotely for at least some of the time make this boundary even more difficult to establish.

The easy answer is don’t bring “Work” work home. Period. And for these of us that do need to work outside of a defined workspace, create a defined are in your home that is only for work. Work there, and only there, and when you are not there, don’t do work. Oh, and use the term “I’m working remotely today” and not “I’m working from home”, it makes a difference.

And speaking of habits, you need an “end of work” habit. For some that is as easy as walking out the door, or the commute home listening to your favourite music or podcast. Others need something more such as taking their dog for a walk, playtime with children or a short yoga or meditation session when you get to the end of your workday. Remember that definition we mentioned at the beginning? “A dividing line” is what these create.

No is not a taboo

In a world where we have been brainwashed into saying yes at almost every moment, saying no seems to have become a taboo. It’s not. But how to say no is an art.

So when you are asked to do something outside your boundaries, the ideal response for you is any variation of “That’s kind of you to think of me but I can’t.” No reason, no excuse, not even a because. And then wait. Nine out of ten times that will be it. And when you do get the “Why not?”…the reply is another simple one…“It doesn’t suit me.” And for the one per cent who push harder something more direct. “I’m trying to establish an ideal balance between my work and my life and doing that is going to put that at risk.”

This will take some practice.

10,000 hours

In his book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell, author of five New York Times bestsellers on the subjects of change and success, said it takes 10,000 hours of intensive practice to achieve mastery of complex skills and materials, like playing the cello like Yo-Yo Ma or getting as good as Bill Gates at computer programming.

Hopefully, it won’t take you 10,000 hours to master how to set boundaries but it will take some practice. That daily self-check we began with is an essential couple of mindful minutes at the commencement of your workday that will set the scene for the rest of day and remind you about the importance of setting boundaries.

And here is your boundary setting checklist:

I am going to repeat my defined boundaries to me
How many hours did I spend at work yesterday?
How many minutes did I sit down and have a clear break yesterday?
Did I take any work home yesterday?
Did I say no to anything yesterday?

Now practice these.

What will success look like?

In the end, few people completely master the art of setting boundaries.

We are all human, and in the veterinary world, in particular, our destiny on a daily basis is often at the whim of circumstance…a poorly pet with an unexpectedly complex condition, a colleague with a family emergency or even a pandemic. In those situations we do what we do best…we help and we deal with the longer-term impact when we have the opportunity to think more clearly and objectively.

Outside of those situations, we need to create boundaries and set limits in order to balance out those unplanned experiences. Talking openly about expectations, regular non-critical hours, defined breaks, learning to say no and creating habits around those elements, and more, will help build a more solid foundation for your own mental health, and that of others.

So don’t think of setting boundaries as a dividing line, but more a recognition and acceptance of our limits, limits that we can become more comfortable with, and that may well help guide us all on the right path to improving the overall mental health of the veterinary profession.

So, it’s been about a decade since you graduated near the top of your Class in Veterinary School, and five years since you really started hitting your professional stride. Things are good, but there’s something about going to work every day which is beginning to wear on you or maybe there are just not enough surprises any more…

It seems like every day there’s that dog who is always swallowing socks, the cat who is coughing up too many hairballs, or the lizard who’s suddenly lethargic. It’s not that you don’t care about these cherished pets, or about their owners’ peace of mind – we know that you always will. It’s just that, after a few years of this, some Vets find themselves looking for something new – new challenges, new procedures, new ways to learn and grow…and sometimes a new approach to Vet Life as we know it, with a little Work-Life Balance too.

It’s Not Too Late to Refresh Your Veterinary Career

If you think, “well, I made my bed, so I guess now I have to lie in it,” think again – diversification is the new wave. You don’t need to give up your veterinary career to freshen up your days, and of course your training doesn’t need to stop (they don’t call it Continuing Education for nothing). If you’re willing to research and explore new horizons with an open mind (which could be quite an adventure in its own right), you’ll find a host of interesting (and in some cases surprising) veterinary specialties that you may not have considered that may reinvigorate your veterinary career, including these…

From Your Heart to Theirs

Animals, like people, sometimes suffer from cardiological problems and need the help of a veterinarian with specialized training in this area. As a veterinary cardiologist, you’ll become an expert in treating heart conditions. You’ll learn how to diagnose problems with the heart muscle, identify instances of heart valve damage, manage critical respiratory problems, and treat congenital heart diseases. Achieving specialization in cardiology will require about 7 to 9 years of academic and clinical training.

Putting Your Love and Caring to Best Use

There are many reasons people decide to pursue a veterinary career, but for many, the reason is their love of animals and desire to alleviate their suffering. If you’re motivated by a desire to help animals in this way, you might consider a career in animal welfare.

As an animal welfare specialist, you’ll work on a wide variety of issues, everything from creating more humane methods in slaughterhouses to rehabilitating injured wildlife. You can even become board certified from the American College of Animal Welfare.

Sink Your Teeth into Your Veterinary Career

In your work as a vet, you sometimes encounter a dog or cat suffering from dental problems, like broken teeth and issues with oral hygiene. You’ve also seen the relief those pets experience when their problems (which are often quite painful) are resolved. If you’re willing to put in the work (and pass the examination) you can become certified as a veterinary dentist and perhaps join an organisation such as the British Veterinary Dental Association. As such, you’ll work in a number of areas, from taking dental x-rays to providing complex cleanings and conducting more advanced dental treatments.

Help the Effort to Stop Terrorism

When you think about “anti-terrorism,” you probably conjure up images of 9/11 or ISIS trying to build its much-vaunted caliphate—but terrorism takes many forms. For example, among the top concerns of anti-terrorism experts is the possibility that terrorists might poison the food supply. What would happen, for example, if a terrorist managed to implant a lethal virus into the country’s milk supply, or into animal feed?

If helping the country by countering terrorists appeals to you, you could become a bioterrorism prevention specialist. If this is up your alley, you’ll be pleased to learn that the American College of Veterinary Preventive Medicine now certifies this veterinary specialty.

Make Shelter Animals’ Lives More Livable

Most vets spend at least part of their time at animal shelters, but some become dedicated shelter medicine specialists. The challenges which exist in these facilities are diverse, and the veterinarians who become expert in meeting those challenges can have a rewarding and energizing career in the field. As a shelter medicine specialist, you’ll learn how to create conditions which ensure that shelter animals receive the love, caring and medical treatment they deserve. Go to the Association of Shelter Veterinarians to discover more.

Promote Humane Conditions in Animal Testing Facilities

As a vet, you know that animals used in testing and experimentation are often exploited and the victims of cruel abuse. Fortunately, you can help by specializing in laboratory animal medicine. Your job won’t be able to end all such experimentation; you will be able to ensure that the conditions in experimental facilities are as humane as possible. This is another area in which you can achieve board certification (in this instance, from the American College of Laboratory Animal Medicine.)

Put on Your Detective’s Hat

The increased concern in the public regarding animal welfare and abuse has created an interesting intersection between veterinary medicine and the law. Specifically, there is an increasing number of legal cases in which questions touching on forensics and forensic pathology come to the fore.

As a specialist in veterinary forensic pathology, you’ll help detectives and lawyers gather, handle and assess critically important evidence that can make or break one of these cases. An increasing number of schools (like the University of Florida, for example) now offer advanced degrees in areas like veterinary forensic sciences. or you can explore further at the British Veterinary Forensic & Law Association.

Service Our Feathered Friends

As a working vet, you probably see the occasional bird or two. If treating them is something that especially appeals to you, you can become a veterinary avian specialist. You’ll undergo rigorous training that will cover topics like the illnesses which primarily affect birds (and how best to treat them), bird behavior, and more. You’ll practice how to conduct examinations, inject medicine, and take blood samples. If working with birds is something that appeals to you, the good news is that you can now make a career of it.

In Conclusion…

Taking on advanced training can be disruptive and challenging at times, but odds are you didn’t choose a career in Veterinary Medicine because you wanted to take the easy path. You did it because you care about animals and are willing to work hard to enhance the quality of their lives in any way you can.

If you truly want to freshen up your veterinary career, choose a specialty which piques your interest and start exploring…you’ll look back one day and be so glad you made the decision to Hit Refresh with your Veterinary Career.